Life Step 9: Making Amends

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“Amends are bridges—small planks, big crossings.”

Why Making Amends Matters

After taking responsibility in Step 8, Step 9 invites you to put healing into motion.

Making amends is different from apologizing.

An apology says, “I’m sorry.”

Amends say, “I’m sorry, and here’s how I’m working to repair this.”

Think of a bridge that’s missing a few planks.

You can still see the other side… but you can’t safely cross.

Making amends is laying down those planks—slowly, intentionally—so reconnection becomes possible.

This step is not about forcing forgiveness or expecting reconciliation.

It’s about integrity.

Closure.

Repairing what you can, so you can move forward with clarity and peace.

Making amends isn’t about the outcome—it’s about showing up with honesty, humility, and action.

How Life Step 9 Supports Mental Health

• Reduces guilt and lingering emotional tension

• Builds confidence through aligned action

• Strengthens relationships when reconnection is possible

• Encourages maturity and accountability

• Promotes emotional closure, even if the relationship doesn’t continue

Amends help you walk through the world lighter—because you’ve done your part.

Reflection Corner

1. Who have I hurt—intentionally or unintentionally—through my actions, patterns, or absence?

2. What do I hope making amends will shift within me?

3. What fears come up when I think about reaching out?

4. What would a sincere amends sound like from me—without excuses or pressure?

Small Practice

Choose one person with whom you’d like to make amends.

Prepare your message using three parts:

1. What I did

2. How it impacted you

3. What I’m doing to make it right

Then reach out gently—with respect for their boundaries and readiness.

They may or may not respond.

They may not be ready.

But your willingness to take the step is where the healing begins.

Afterward, ask yourself:

“What shifted for me once I spoke my truth and repaired what I could?”

Looking Ahead

Once you’ve made amends, the next step invites you into ongoing maintenance: staying accountable in real time. Daily check-ins, small adjustments, and continued honesty become the path forward.

 Up next: Life Step 10: Daily Reflection

Last tidbit :)

My second hardest step in life is this one. Forgiveness is for you and your future self.

Your Therapist,

- Megan Cerney, LCSW

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